The One With the Fun Little Nellie Nugget

Not to age myself too terribly much, but I LOVED "Little House on the Prairie". (Full disclosure - I still do) While I was growing up, I'd watch it on repeat. I knew which channels to turn to so I could watch it three times on three different stations every evening after school. I knew Pa, Ma, Laura, Mary, and Carrie as if they were my own family. I did not like Nellie as much as Laura didn't like her in the early parts of the series. She was ruthlessly mean, selfish, and annoying. I learned lessons from Pa right along with Laura and took them to heart. I cried when Mary went blind and rejoiced when Carrie was born. I sang along with Mr. Edwards and clapped in joy when Albert was adopted into the family. To say "Little House on the Prairie" gave me the foundations of who I am today might be an understatement.

I fully believe God gives us nuggets in our daily lives. As we grow and mature in our relationships with each other and with God, God gives us those little insightful things to help us from day to day. Nuggets fall from Heaven when we talk to each other, communicate with each other, and become more and more transparent together. God loves community and created us for community. When believers join together, God is with them - giving His nuggets.

Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them."

Sometimes you can be in the middle of a conversations and realize a "God thing" is happening as you talk with each other. An inspiration, a new aspect to add to daily life, or an insightful thought that transitions your whole way of thinking. God has been showing us some really good marriage nuggets as we seek to continue to improve not only our marriage, but help share our discoveries as we go along. As long as I'm still breathing on this earth, there's always need for me to improve. I will never be perfect and will make mistakes regularly. (That's my life-long fine print) Please continue to be patient and forgiving with me as I continue trip over my feet from day to day. At least I'm tripping forward!

Now to take you to our latest nugget! My husband and I were talking one evening and realized that we don't have a game plan in place for when we are doing something that annoys the other. We have our "help" word for when we are overwhelmed and need to take it down a notch, but what about when we are doing something really annoying and not realizing it? Here's just one example - I say "sorry" WAY too much. I just say it without even realizing it. I say "sorry" when have nothing to be sorry for because I did nothing in the situation being discussed. I think it's a northern thing, I'm not really sure. Regardless, when things like this come up, I really don't want to be an annoyance to my husband and I know he feels the same. Our marriage goals in this lifetime are to encourage and uplift each other and - as discussed in "The One Where We Revitalize Marriage" - get those heavenly rewards for each other!

My husband and I were talking about how we can let each other know we are "getting on each other's nerves" without being rude or mean about it. We all know how we use our words in these situations makes a huge difference.

Proverbs 15:1 says "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare."

The words we use with each other can cause a simple situation to escalate, anger can ensue, hurts can happen, and pretty soon you have a tsunami when it was really only predicted to be a sprinkle.

So how do you do this? How do you communicate something not so positive in a positive way? How do you turn a potential tsunami situation into an enjoyable sunny day?

When talking about these exact situations and how we want to handle them when they come up in life (because they will), this is what came to us - - ready for it!? - "Nellie" - She was soooo annoying on "Little House in the Prairie" that we decided it was the best code word to use. Plus when we say it, we laugh! Laughing is the best way to change a storm into sunshine.

I know this picture isn't a storm or sunshine, but it's funny - and we like to laugh. It also shows how we feel when things are coming at us from every angle and we are trying to muddle through the best way to handle everything.

When I'm being a little "too much" (I can be - I know - shocking right?) my husband will say "oh Nellie" - I look at him and we laugh. We stop and talk through whatever it is going on and move on. We stumbled over a really great positive communication tool that works for us. A nugget from God. That's the key - finding what works for you and your relationships. Finding the tools that help keep you growing deeper and stronger together...even in the not so great times.

The other night I actually "Nellied" myself. My husband was sharing a story from his really stressful work day and I responded to his story with something I definitely should NOT have said. The very moment it came out of my mouth, I looked at him and yelled "Nellie! Nellie! Nellie!" We laughed - and trust me, everything was ok. You become more and more aware of how you effect each other when you talk about the little things. Everything you do in relationships affects the other person whether you think it does or not. It's important to intentionally listen to each other and intentionally communicate. How you work together through all those little daily things that come up makes the difference of a lifetime.

1 Thessalonians 5:10-11 "Christ died for us so that, whether we are dead or alive when he returns, we can live with him forever. So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing."

Thank you so much God for your little daily nuggets. Thank you for your wisdom and revelations and for walking with us every single day through this life on earth.